She always found it difficult to write in first person. To be the omniscient narrator was easy, she thought. To be the character that embodies an idea, easier. She lacked the prowess of tracking wavering thoughts in her voice. Words eluded her when she tried to narrate a story as the protagonist. She then stepped back (a practice she had mastered by now) and tried telling the story again. And this time, she could.
The minute she guised her feelings as someone else's, there were no more barriers between her thoughts and words. She found the right verbs and used befitting adjectives. She wrote as an observer - of truths that found place within the very depths of her. She commented as a viewer - who could empathise with the joys and pains as her own. She wrote recklessly. She no longer had to tread with care.
She traced the plot with a sense of reckless abandon. She painted her most audacious actions with a stroke of compelling honesty. She made bare her darkest secrets because they were now not hers. She lent the fictitious character an air of conviction that stemmed from her very beliefs. She whitewashed her indulgences and vices with a veneer of cheap chalk and lime.
She lived in this whitewashed reality until cracks began to appear, revealing the naked brick and mortar.
(Lace top: Thrifted, Lace pants: Vintage, Sling: Kuwait, Ring: Swarovski)
Photography - Nikhil Nair
This post has been in my drafts for almost a month now. Considering all the flak I receive for not blogging too frequently, I realize how this is only a detrimental piece of information to share. But then I have always come to this platform only when that something in me has simmered for long enough and when I have something compelling enough to share.
Besides, I have always been a slave to my heart's whims and fancies. As a 'good blogger' I might be expected to post way more often, but then I'd much rather post only when I think I can touch your lives even if for a few moments with words and images that are worthy of your time.
Till the next post,
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